Since I have never been one to focus on the negative I wanted to extol upon my positives. I once joked about feeling like a Phoenix emerging from the ashes but damn if that is not how I truly feel.
I am a humble father of two amazing children that have and continue to be the light of my life. Through the turmoil of constant change they have both been stronger than children should need to be (albeit they are 19 and almost 16), more flexible than a crazy straw and the rock of my existence. I'm not sure a father could be prouder or more full of love for his children than I am of Sydney and Connor. May my current path lead them in guidance of that love and compassion that they constantly show me. I have had many different opportunities in life, choices to do many things but the one true course I have always known was to be a father and provider. These young adults have given me my only true life's passion and I am so thankful for them.
In order to be able to fully steer through my maze of challenges the past few years I had to rely on many of my family and friends. This was honestly the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am not a man that asks for help, I am the provider, I am the guy that shows up when others need help. Without my closest family and friends helping me along the way, I truly don't know where I would be. The love, compassion and support I have received has driven me to be the best version of ME that I can. I am not out of the woods fully but I can see the clearing and it's because of the amazing people in my life. They have gotten me through more than I could ever ask and even more than I can ever repay but my promise to them is my blood, sweat and tears as long as I have a working muscle in my body. Thank you so much for supporting me when I couldn't support myself and pushing me when I needed it the most.
Part of this new chapter is a woman that has helped me realize that it is still OK to give fully of myself. To love and be loved, to laugh and be laughed at, to celebrate every day with that joy and love. In our relationship I am happiest watching her smile and enjoy herself, it empowers me to want so much more when I am with her. Through her I FEEL love again. Alyse Webb thank you for opening your heart to me, your life (and home) to my family and reminding me what it feels like to find true happiness.
I think the reason I started and stopped this so many times is that I knew I wanted to say something but didn't know what I wanted to say. I look back on how I got here and really don't know if I would (or really could) change much. I am not a perfect man and I am constantly learning every day. The biggest thing is that I am much more appreciative of those around me and willing to listen. I seek guidance from those that have walked before me and crave to learn how to give back the love I have been given. With the fear of sounding hokey I am more full of love and compassion, slower to react and now living with a purpose. I guess I really just wanted to acknowledge the people that have gotten me to this point and truly end a chapter in order to begin another.
Time to go find another adventure and share the joy of life!
Until next time......
